Welcome to Heartbreak City

Forgotten

2011-01-14T23:05:00.002-05:00

As I walk off into the night
I'll be nothing more than a memory
Just another face in the crowd
A dream that was never meant to be...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2011 All Rights Reserved.

2011-01-14T22:46:00.003-05:00

For the record, I hate you. Off the record, I love you.

-C.a.M.-

2010-11-21T17:12:00.003-05:00

Shoe-boxes full of memories, is all that's left of you
Photographs from the past
Not sure what I'm holding on to
Since we're broken up now
But I can't seem to move on
Though this empty void in my heart
Keeps telling me you're gone

So I wake up every morning
Pretending you died
I know it sounds horrible
But it helps push the pain aside
It takes practice to keep lying to yourself
For you to finally see
You were my life and now you're gone
Though I still don't want to believe

When I think I'm finally over you
Our song plays and reminds me that
I'm back to where I started
Alone and broken-hearted
I just can't seem to get on track
To move forward with my life
And accept that you were just a chapter
Of a biography, that I wish I could rewrite
Replacing the tragedy with our laughter

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2010 All Rights Reserved.

2010-11-21T16:59:00.004-05:00

Things were great at one point
Then our situation turned tragic
Went from good to worse so quickly
Thought what we had was above average
Like the magic, dream marriages were made of
The happily-ever-after type ending
The very idea romantics ate up
It goes to show you
Good things don't last long
But why are we so surprised?
We knew it all along

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2010 All Rights Reserved.

Wasted Years...

2010-11-09T22:55:00.004-05:00

(Verse 1)
As a kid growing up
Always chose to be different
Wanted a better life than you provided
My path changed that instant
Went against everything you said
Nothing made any sense
Your words were just irrelevant
I had my mind set
So I...

(Chorus)
Wasted years off my life
Trying not to be like you
Pursuing the impossible
Making my dreams come true
Till one day I realized
The one thing I already knew
All roads lead somewhere
Mine leads back to you

(Verse 2)
Bitter throughout the years
Estranged to say the least
Kept chasing what I was after
You shook your head in disbelief
Resentment built up
Turned to the bottle for relief
Pipe dream is what you called it
I saw it as my destiny
To make something of myself
The man you couldn't bare to see
So I...

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
As I grew older
The more I understood your point of view
Can't say I agree on how you handled it
But who the hell, would've knew
That it gave me the drive to succeed
Transform my dreams, to reality
So I...

Guess you can say, I owe it all to you.

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2010-11-08T21:31:00.008-05:00

I'm falling apart in front of you eyes
Yeah I know, I may not show it
But that's just my foolish prides way
At the end of the day
To keep others from ever knowing

So I play it off, as if you've never hurt me
Though I'm dying inside
But who am I really kidding?
You don't even notice
That's what kills me each time

And I'm sitting here wondering
Why I never chose to leave
Knowing things wouldn't get better
Even if I was living a lie
I tried desperately to believe

Till the day, my heart finally shattered
From the stones you threw with ease
I was left alone to pick up the pieces
As I watched you walk off into the night
Taking my happiness, hopes and dreams

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2010 All Rights Reserved.

Still Nothing's...

2010-01-02T17:40:00.013-05:00

1st Verse

My wants, your needs
Our love, it bleeds
In the end, we don't succeed
We wait for the anger, than attempt to proceed
Your bad, my fault
Don't even understand why we fought
We blame each other till it comes to a draw
Still nothing's changed, but everything lost

Chorus

Why can't we get it together?
Easier said, than done
We're both stubborn in our ways
Neither one of us will stop till we've won
Gotta see passed it all
Need to learn from our mistakes
Choose our battles wisely
And remember to give before you take

2nd Verse

Your love, my hate
Keep pushing till we break
Wish we could rebuild with what's at stake
But too little, too late
We break-up, we make-up
It's our never-ending situation
See how long before we both lose our patience
Still nothing's gained, but misinformation

3rd Verse

My reasons, your feelings
Who are we to keep deceiving?
That this relationship could work
When in reality, we're both hurt
So it's either your way or my way
We both choose the highway
Nevermind with what our hearts say
Still nothing's resolved, but for our mind's sake
We're through

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2010 All Rights Reserved.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

2010-01-01T16:31:00.007-05:00

Lower my casket
Bury me alive
The dirt I once shoveled, has swallowed me inside
This pine box of a cage
Left with no room to escape
But to sleep for eternity, with the mistakes that I've made
A soul that was pure
Has now been plagued
By demons who torment, my mind with endless pain
Left here to rot in pieces
Though my heart never ceases
To remind me how careless I was, of throwing it all away
So as I choke on these words
I'm sent to a state of oblivion
Mixing too much whiskey and Ambien, with no intentions of ever seeing the sun
Self-destruction was on my mind
The very moment I picked up that gun
Hope was the only thing keeping me alive
You were that hope
When you left, I died

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2010 All Rights Reserved.

Emptiness

2009-12-12T17:50:00.008-05:00

My mistakes will keep me company
But at the same time, consume my soul
No remedy for this feeling
Just sit back and let it take it's toll
Run it's course till I'm left empty
A heart once warm, turned cold
Precious memories crumble to ashes
From the match I light, to burn it all
I've lost all sense of control
Regrets that I hope to forget
Haunt and leave scars on the walls
Of a vacant mind that was once living
Now, has transformed me into a walking corpse

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Too Little. Too Late.

2009-12-12T17:45:00.005-05:00

We're just two lonely souls, who should truly be together.
But we probably won't realize that, until it's too late.

-C.a.M.-

Hopeless

2009-12-06T20:24:00.007-05:00

Verse 1

It was all an illusion, I've seen from the beginning
A desperate hope for those who cope
When you think you should be winning
But in reality, it's just a defense
For those who pose a threat
A silent alarm to counter pain
Installed at your heart's request

Chorus

Hope can be deceiving
When your heart's the one that's grieving
Need to step back and wonder
If what you're after is none other
Than emotions that are real
Or just your heart's way to cope, until
Someone else comes along
And changes how you feel

Verse 2

It was never in the cards, for you & I to go far
So I'm sitting here wondering
Why I even played those odds?
Why I bothered to give chase?
Knowing I'll soon be replaced
That's right
It was false hope, that kept my mind in the race

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-12-06T20:08:00.007-05:00

I can see right through you
No need to look into your eyes
I know when you're lying
For every lie you've told
What we had was slowly dying
Only thing left to say is good-bye
So spare me your empty words
Promises you never meant to keep
I'd be foolish to forgive
Knowing you're bound to repeat
So I'll make this simple
Enough to realize, I've become resentful
The truth of the matter is
You & I are now deceased

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

2009-11-29T18:40:00.006-05:00

Happiness is a warm gun
So it's always on my mind
Knowing sadness isn't too far behind
I keep it loaded at all times
Pointed at my temples, to keep my demons at bay
One motion can blow my mind open
Let the darkness escape, to usher in the light of day

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-29T18:30:00.005-05:00

I put myself out there
Hoping your mind would change
Instead, I was left wondering
If you ever felt the same
Since I don't know how you feel
And what I mean to you
These questions need answers
That will determine what I'll do
All I ask, is for your honesty
The rest will take care of itself
Don't worry about hurting my self-esteem
It beats this looming feeling of uncertainty
That has caused my mind to swell
Not to mention the fate, my heart awaits
Could be devastating to its health
But it's a chance I'm willing to take
If you're willing to as well...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-15T20:53:00.002-05:00

There can be no compromise
When you're not willing to communicate
I've tried my best to work with you here
But in the end, failed to the same mistakes
Can't understand why you do this
In my eyes, you're taking advantage
These boundaries can only be pushed so far
Before lines are crossed and feelings damaged

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Killing Loneliness

2009-11-15T20:45:00.005-05:00

I'm killing loneliness, just to pass the time
To the point where I don't feel so empty inside
Try to occupy my day
Hoping one day that I'll find
A love that is true
A soul that's one of a kind
Someone to grow old with
Laugh through life till you both go blind
Share priceless moments together
Only you two can define
A woman that makes you want to become a better man
In all honesty, I'm looking for someone to be my better half
Till then, I'm killing loneliness
The best that I can

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-08T19:44:00.003-05:00

Thought this was worth holding on to
That's why I never left
But the more we seem to argue
The more I begin to regret
How can we call each other lovers?
When all we share is stress
We can't even communicate like adults
Without the results of being upset
Where did the happiness go?
We used to hold each other down
Now when troubles appear, you're never here
Too busy to stick around
Guess you can say we've grown apart
Chose to go our separate ways
Our bond has now been broken
To the point it can't be saved

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-08T19:37:00.006-05:00

Can't seem to get it together, to make everything work
When all we do is argue
Make-up, but still feel hurt
We've gone around in circles
Conversations to clear the air
Feelings left unsaid
Are we really playing fair?
When we're not completely honest
Afraid what the other may think
Like love, this is a gamble
Either continue to play or fold on instinct
I rather say too much
Than to say nothing at all
If this relationship is worth the battle
There's no way in hell, I'll withdraw

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-02T00:48:00.006-05:00

Two ways of doing this
Let it burn or let it fade
No difference in the two
The outcome still the same
Letting go maybe difficult
When that connection can't be maintained
It's a choice you learn to live with
When your friendship has changed
And all you do is argue
Quick to point on whose to blame
Happiness turns into resentment
Sunshine into rain
Hope to weather the storm is my heart's feeling
But my mind's telling me to evacuate

-C.a.M-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-11-02T00:42:00.006-05:00

I see you for who you truly are
And the things I thought, you never were
Blinded by love unexpectedly
You turned out to be just another girl
Can't commit to the fact you've abandoned me
When all I did was try to give you the world
So now I've moved on to a better life
No longer having to deal with your insights

Took me for-granted
When all I did was care
Now I'm gone, you miss me
Thought I'd always be there
Told your friends you played me
But who really played who?
When I'm not the one crying, over you know who
Come on girl

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-10-26T23:23:00.001-04:00

I can walk away knowing, she knew how I truly felt
It was a long shot from the start
Had to protect what was left of my heart
So I chose to leave before things went south
It's my way to avoid emotional pain
The strain on my mind, took it's final toll
I heard all of what I've needed to hear
It's about that time I take my stroll
Try to move on to a better place
Where I can ease my soul
If you can't find love in the person you cherish
Should you stay or should you go?

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Those Eyes

2009-10-26T17:22:00.004-04:00

When I look into those eyes
I see an innocent child, that conceals her pain inside
She's been down this road before
A disbeliever of finding true love
She gave up sometime ago
Loneliness has become her only companion
She's known for so long
Fed up with relationships from her past
That seem to always go wrong
She blames herself, not the men that came and went
Sulking in her own misfortunes
For the broken heart she carries
So she hides, hoping to protect
The only integrity she has left

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Resentment

2009-10-26T16:54:00.004-04:00

Guess you never saw eye to eye
More like you went along to avoid the stress
What's the point in arguing anyway?
When there's no mutual respect
You begin to sacrifice your morals
Lose the integrity you have left
Just to make her happy
Tell me how you live with no regrets
Yet, she takes you for-granted
When all you offer is help
Resentment consumes your soul
Till you can't catch your breath
Until it spills out of your mouth
With words you thought you'd never speak
It's turned for the worse
Down hill to say the least
Now you're left with the decision
To either stay or leave in peace
This can't be love

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Honesty

2009-10-17T11:28:00.005-04:00

Without honesty, there is no trust.
And without trust, there is no us.

-C.a.M.-

A Formal Apology

2009-10-16T14:52:00.006-04:00

I can't help but think
I'm holding onto something I've already lost
Foolish to stay knowing, the price that it cost
The toll it took on my mind
Most of all my heart
It's times like these I wonder
How it all fell apart?

Thoughts of what I could've done to avoid this
To make everything right
Signs that we were doomed
But hope blurred my hindsight
Can you blame me for not wanting to lose someone, I cared so much for in my life?

So this goes out to all the women
Who meant something to me
Either I messed things up or just walked away
My apologies to those
Hope you can forgive me one day
Signed, Yours truly

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Each Other

2009-10-16T14:35:00.004-04:00

Two souls meet
One killing loneliness
The other, just killing time
Enjoyed each others company
Found refuge in the others mind
Shared secrets and experiences
She spilt hers, I spilt mine
A glimpse into each others' souls
Found comfort in one another
That in turn, made them whole
A friendship like no other
Guess you can say they were on a roll
Till their luck ran out
Started to argue, but what about?
As if a switch had been turned off
Both alone in the dark with thoughts of doubt
Till one day they both decided...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-10-11T18:18:00.003-04:00

Never thought the agony of defeat, could be so sweet
Sweeter than revenge
On the edge of something deep
Hanging on by a thread
Hoping to fall on easy street
Life could be more than just money
Funny how things work themselves out
When you're broke and left with nothing

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

To My Father

2009-10-11T18:02:00.004-04:00

We never had that bond when I was young
Guess that's why you've become estranged
Didn't share the type of things, father and sons do together
Could be the reason why I don't call you dad
But rather by your first name
We've grown apart throughout the years
Till we eventually went our separate ways
Mad at myself that it took me till now
Just to say: "I love you dad."
Unfortunately, for the both of us
It's on your burial day

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Too Many...

2009-10-08T01:09:00.004-04:00

Too many days have passed us by
Too many arguments that led to fights
Too many questions left unanswered
Wrongful acts that were never made right

Too many thoughts of resentment
Too many times I've made you cry
Too many excuses that were said
Words lost in the back of my mind

Too many chances that were given
Too many ways we could've tried
Too many things that came between us
An explanation could never justify why

I took...

Too many steps ahead of you
Too many memories I left behind
Too many feelings bottled up inside my soul
The love I once felt for you has died

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Brain Vs. Heart Round 2

2009-10-05T22:58:00.006-04:00

Brain 2nd Verse

Listen to reason, not instinct
She'll break your heart like the others
Why are you stressin' over this shit?
If she was right here in front of you, could you honestly tell her that you love her?
No response, like I thought
Mutherfucker just quit!
You're putting too much pressure on me
I'll do both of us a favor and forget she ever existed
When you learn to love through me, you avoid being a statistic
So many lives ruined through time
And for what?
A so-called love interest
Plus you're still paranoid to this day
Emotional scars from your past
Do you really want to relive those painful memories?
If not, just let these feelings pass
There's a million other women in this world
That could make you just as happy
Let her go and walk away
Before this shit ends badly
Keep your love moving, like your hustle
So you avoid getting locked down
I'll make a deal with you for the future
Focus on getting your life & money right
And when you're good and ready
We'll see what this "love" is all about
Now how's that sound?

Heart 2nd Verse

You know she's not like the others, that's why you chose to stay
You found something deep inside her soul
That made you change your ways
How many women you've known, who've done that?
Plus the patience you thought you never had
You care for the kid, why doubt it?
Just leave the pain and paranoia in the past
These emotions that you question
Let me know how it feels to be alive
You've never met a woman like her before
Don't just let a beautiful thing slide
She may front like her feelings aren't the same
But when you look into her eyes
You'll find that her love for you has never changed
You care for her, she cares for you
You make each others lives much better
If it's happiness you want, it's right in front of you man!
It was fate that brought you two together
If you could only see my expression when she's around you
Bet you've never seen a heart smile before
That emptiness you feel when she's away
That's me calling for her when she's gone
Plus her sense of humor is amazing and how it lifts your spirits
If you choose to walk away right now
You'll always wonder if what you truly felt was love, or just another verse to some lyrics...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-10-05T02:45:00.005-04:00

Thought what we had was heaven sent
Fooled me when you packed up your things and just left
Out the door
No real good-bye
More like you just brushed me off
Maybe it wasn't your intentions
Maybe you forgot to mention, that this part of your life is over
No need to move further
Broke my heart, like you give a fuck
All you did was make me stronger
Karma comes back 360
Time heals pain and suffering
But will never make right what you did to me
Remember that!
For the next time around we're together
Just know the love I had for you drowned.

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-09-28T21:56:00.005-04:00

An endless road of forgotten dreams
The path of the forsaken, for which it seems
A place where souls gather
To walk up and down the streets
In search of life's happiness
That will in turn bring inner peace
Not knowing the road ahead
Stores heartaches and pain
To reach their destination
You must suffer before you gain
In due time, the chosen will call out his name
From which they will leave, from which they came

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-09-16T00:41:00.003-04:00

Waiting on the moment
For time to sit still
Pain exchange for pleasure
Till I can no longer feel
The cares of the world today
The future has become yesterday
Life moving at a faster pace
Erases my thoughts of past mistakes

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

I Dreamt...

2009-09-15T23:03:00.006-04:00

I dreamt I died last night
The feeling overwhelmed my soul
Like the feeling you wish you could turn back time
But instead, you have to learn to let things go
I dreamt I traveled to a better place
A scene that was warm and serene
A place beyond this cold, cruel world
No longer having to struggle to live
I've seen the other side
I can vouch there's a heaven above
Never thought I'd see it so soon
Leaving behind the ones I love

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

9/11 Tribute x Welcome to Heartbreak City

2009-09-11T17:12:00.013-04:00

Verse 1

We grew out of our relationship
Never thought our friendship would meet the same fate
We promised to work things out for the future
And to avoid the same mistakes
Compromise and trust goes out the window
When you're both not on the same page
Too many sacrifices and second chances given
Guess we took more than we could take
Resentment replaced the love in our hearts
We both watched from behind the curtain
To see what we've built fall apart
Like the Twin Towers crumbling down
A pair that seemed untouchable
Until a weakness was found
So what do we do now?

Chorus

"It was all swell. Then it all fell. Just like that, heaven turned to all hell."
-Jadakiss sample from Jaheim's "Diamond in the Ruff"

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-09-08T23:13:00.003-04:00

Days seem to last forever
Inevitable connection amongst friends
Burning passion between two souls
Raging fires from within
No cares in the world
Only thing that mattered was 'them'
A love that felt untouchable
But like all good things, it must come to an end.

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-09-08T23:06:00.003-04:00

Love no longer matters
That's already been established
Now it's compromise to manage
If we worked things out between us, would our love still be the same?
Only time will tell...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-08-17T15:14:00.007-04:00

Times running short
Make a decision on how to say it
Hard to focus at the moment
Thoughts of rejection steady playing
Pacing the room like a madman
Trying to figure out what I'm okay with
To not fully put myself out there
Be crushed like grapes, that have never been tasted
Always figured showing how you felt
Meant more than exchanging phrases
But the more time we spend together
I see my perspective changing
It shouldn't be this hard
When you know how you feel, just face it
No use in denying love
Say those words, before she's taken

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-08-17T15:01:00.006-04:00

Familiar places that my heart embraces
Have vanished in the blink of an eye
No longer friendly faces, just a bitter taste as
I take in the world outside
It's become desolate and cold
From what I now know
These roots haven't seen the light
Memories become vague, as I grow older and age
Can't remember the last time I enjoyed life...

Life learned lessons
That haven't been mentioned
Are the ones I've kept inside
The foundation of my character
The morals to every chapter
Of a biography, I have yet to write...

As I contemplate, which road to take
My minds thinking twice
The longer I wait, the more that's at stake
But I gotta be precise
For every path I choose, another option I lose
It's just the simple fact of life
However far I go, I'll always know
That it was I, who chose this life
No Regrets.

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

A Letter To C.C.

2009-08-11T23:24:00.004-04:00

How do you tell the one you love, you can't be there for them?
That you've come to a point in your life
When your pockets are tight
And you can no longer support them
That it was okay back then
But things have changed for the worse
And it hurts, since you never expected to have to make a decision
To either put you or them first

Guess I was just being selfish
Too focused on getting my life together, for me to help it
But it was something I felt, that had to be dealt with
Long overdue, that I kept pushing a side
I needed closure for myself
To cross over and forget
How you reminded me of that someone, I left behind

Never got to apologize for breaking our ties
Some day you'll come to the understanding
Why I did, what I had to do
Just know I held on for as long as I can
But this is the end of me & you

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-08-11T23:10:00.007-04:00

Dreams of you at night
Haunt me like shadows in the distance
A moment in time, where my heart grows fond
Of a voice that sounds so distant
That place is where I left you
Never took the time to look back
Disregarded the fact I lost you
Still haven't forgiven myself for that

My pride got in the way
But at the same time, kept me sane
Bittersweet how things turned out in the end
In that respect, I'll take the blame
Should've been there for you, when you needed me most
I was caught up in the fast life of crime
But no need for further excuses, can't understand why I do this
Just know this time I've made up my mind
I want you...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Say Good-bye To Everything

2009-08-02T20:56:00.008-04:00

Verse 1

It's too late for I'm sorries
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
But I can't and it kills me that what we have is on the line
We both made our share of mistakes
Things we'd take back if we could
Reality is sinking in
Don't know where to begin
Lord knows I should do it soon

Chorus

Say good-bye to everything, baby
Everything we once knew
It hurts to let it all go
But it's the best for me and you
Someday we'll both realize
That our love was never true
Good-bye to everything, baby
Everything we once knew

Verse 2

Can't keep putting this off forever
But the words don't seem to come out
Trying to set the mood for destruction
No more taking the easy route
Gotta be a man about this and handle my business
Good-byes are never pleasant
But you and I both know
Neither is this shit

Chorus

Bridge

And we can't keep pretending
That what we had is still here
Gotta move on from all this
No sense in us, just standing here
Leave it all behind, baby
Say good-bye to everything
Good-bye, good-bye

Verse 3

I've come to the conclusion
And I think you'd agree with me
The love between us left along time ago
We've both just been living a memory
Guess we missed that feeling so much
That's why we chose to stay
Gotta come to grips with reality
It's best we go our separate ways

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-08-02T17:35:00.007-04:00

We've had our differences in the past
But we always seem to get through it
All the drama and stress was just a test
To see if this friendship could face the music
Now we've come to a fork in the road
Which path shall we choose?
Should we choose together or separately?
Hoping we pick the same route
At the same time, take the chance
We lose sight of each others hands
Break the bond we've restored
To pursue other plans...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

I Miss You

2009-08-02T17:20:00.011-04:00

Verse 1 (Death of a Spouse)

At night I wake up lonely
No one here by my side
A voice taunts before me
Cold chills run up my spine
Soft words that are so alarming
Brought tears to my eyes
Cold sweats fall upon me
So many years have passed us by

Chorus

I miss you
Why'd you have to go and make me cry
I miss you
You are always on my mind
I miss you
So many loved ones left behind
I miss you
Never wanted to say good-bye

Verse 2 (Depression)

At times I catch myself dreaming
Reality is just too hard
When life becomes misleading
And your happiness is gone
Troubles seem to find you
No use hiding in the dark
Praying the light will guide me
To a place up in the sun

Chorus

Verse 3 (Home Sick/Solider)

I can't help to think, I've made a mistake
Of leaving it all behind
My life, friends and family
Are lingering in the dawn
As I start over from scratch
My mind and heart still attached
To that place I once knew
Hoping this road will one day, lead me back there soon...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

2009-07-30T01:11:00.006-04:00

It's no use...
I don't want to bother holding on to something, that I know won't last
All the time and energy spent on keeping us together
Just doesn't seem worth the task
When we're both not on the same page
Steady arguing on who's really right
Don't know how much more my heart can take
Maybe it's best, without you in my life
Still I don't want to let you go
We've come so far to call it quits
But if I choose to stay, I'll be torn
Between reality and the love that once existed
Damn I miss it...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Brain Vs. Heart Round 1

2009-07-30T00:03:00.008-04:00

Brain 1st Verse

My minds telling me to leave
Walk away so you can't get hurt
You don't want another heartbreak do you?
Play it safe, before you she leaves you first
Why continue to play the game, when the odds were never in your favor?
Don't be a fool, think rationally!
You'd understand it's not worth to chase her
Plus she's someone elses lady
Why get mixed-up in all of that?
You can't even call it a love triangle
When she never loved you back
Save yourself the grief & disappointment
Those feelings will come and go
Focus on getting money
You're not a lover, you're a hustler
It's the only thing you know...

Heart 1st Verse

Why not listen to me for once?
You know she won't be easy to forget
Why go on living your life as if she doesn't matter?
Fight for her love with no regrets
In the end you know you tried
Even if it wasn't meant to be
"Love is Love" is what's tatted on your arm, isn't it?
Do yourself a favor and act on what you feel
It's true feelings come and go
But to deny them, is to live a lie
Could you really live with yourself questioning, if she could've been your future wife?
Don't worry about me, I'll survive another break
Love is truly a gamble, but you know she's worth it
But for my sake, Just learn from your mistakes...

-C.a.M.-

Copyright: all written material and content within this post is property of Chris Mendoza, and in no way shape or form may be copied, or reproduced. Permission is required to use any written material within this post. © Chris Mendoza 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Introduction

2009-07-28T00:27:00.030-04:00

Welcome to Heartbreak City. My name is Chris and I will be your tour guide for the duration of your stay with us, or at least till you get acquainted with your surroundings. This is the ideal place where one can come to escape the harsh realities of being alone, while trying to cope with love loss. You can say that most of the residents that inhabit this city, have a lot more in common than they think. Keep in mind, this is city is like no other. If you've come in search for an enjoyable spot to vacation with your loved ones, I'm sorry to inform you that you have arrived at the wrong destination. The sun rarely shines around these parts. The majority of the year, the city is shrouded by thick, ominous clouds that seem to engulf the city with no intentions of ever leaving. Though the residents don't seem to object. You can say they have more important things on their mind. You should know up front, there are times in the wee hours of the morning; while the city is fast asleep and the streets are no longer riddled with cars or it's citizens; that you may hear ghostly cries and whispers while you lay in bed. Rest assured, these are not from ghosts. They're simply your fellow neighbors coming to grips with their personal tragedy, while they sometimes roam rampant throughout the dark, desolate streets. Do not be disheartened. This is just part of the process that newcomers must face while getting adjusted to their new lifestyle. It can be quite a culture shock from what others are used to. In due time, everyone finds what they've been looking for. Some sooner than others...

During the tour, you may relate to some of the experiences that are mentioned and may recall your own personal inadequacies regarding love. It's perfectly common to experience repressed feelings during your time with us. Let's be honest. At some point or another, we've all had someone we've adored, break our hearts. I can only hope your visit here brings you closure and helps you move forward on your journey. Whether you're just passing through or presently reside here, I hope you enjoy your stay with us. With that said, let's get this tour started. Shall we?

The road to love
Has left me bruised and scarred
With hopes to one day
I can heal my broken heart
Till then, I'm stranded here
In this restless town
Welcome to Heartbreak City
Where love can't be found

These are my thoughts, a hopeless romantic on his relentless pursuit on finding love...

-C.a.M.-